Living with a nervous or anxious dog can be overwhelming. And a real emotional roller-coaster; fluctuating between feeling sad for them, and deeply empathising, to feeling frustrated. Some of us may have signed up for a anxious dog, knowing what we were taking on, others may have taken on an anxious dog with great intentions, but now you're realising just how much micromanagement it can take, and what a huge impact it can have on your life.
Wherever you are at; there are a few key things that you can do to start helping your anxious dog feel more safe, secure and connected.
Respect where they are at, and allow them to set the pace. Give them time. Forcing them to cope with experiences or environments that they are unequipped to cope with is an unrealistic expectation which can cause more harm than good.
Make sure to clearly define their 'safe zones'; the areas they feel secure, and relaxed or happy. Then maximise the time they get to stay here.
Identifying their triggers is key for this; knowing what frightens them or makes them feel confused, insecure or uneasy means that you can consciously work to limit your dogs exposure to these things, then explore which of the triggers you will need desensitise them to. If your dog is only anxious in specific situations then this may be clear to you, but those who have more complex fears and anxieties then you will likely need to prioritise 2 or 3 specifics to begin with.
Once you know what your dog is struggling with; and what you can do, or how you can set up the environment to help them feel safe, then you can begin work on systematic desensitisation, and counter conditioning.
Outside of training contexts where the trigger is kept to low intensity to begin with; you should ensure that you respect what your dog can and can't deal with, and aim to keep them feeling safe, and trigger free as much as possible.
When working on desensitisation, it is important to allow your dog to set the pace. Only they know how they feel, and good desensitisation should be boring to watch, and non-eventful.
Some steps include:
Keep your dog at a safe distance from their trigger, and keep the trigger at low intensity.
The dog should be aware of their trigger; but not scared by it, or reacting to it.
When the dog becomes aware of the trigger, then something good happens (they get a piece of cheese or steak!).
It is important that they see the trigger before the positive thing happens, e.g. Seeing a dog = Steak. If you try to distract them, by feeding them first, or getting them to play etc then they can learnt that food = scary dogs appearing and it can have the opposite of the desired effect!
In the meantime, make sure you don't overwhelm your dog, or push them for too much too soon.
Be proactive in creating confidence building experiences. For a anxious dog, confidence building is key. How they process daily life can be improved by creating controlled set ups where they can have positive experiences. Some of my favorite activities for confidence building include:
Sarah Fisher's ACE Freework! - Google/Youtube it!
Kathy Sado's SMART X 50 - Google/Youtube it!
Scent games
Snuffle mats/balls
Treat searches / Scatter feeding
Make sure your dog knows that good things happen All. The. Time! As this fosters a more optimistic outlook.
Be trustworthy. Don't tell your dog 'it's okay.' when clearly they feel it isn't! If they are panicing because of a noise outside, then by all means tell them what it is! 'That's neighbour John putting out the bin'. But don't tell them it's ok when they're scared. We're not here to gaslight other people, or our dogs. Their fear is real, regardless of if we think it is a worthy reason or not.
Putting names to things can help our dogs get a level of predictibility about their environment, and they will learn specific words and their meansing as we repeat them day to day. So narrate away! With consisitency, it can really help.
By explaining things to our dogs, this also helps create a more secure attachement between us. Make sure your dog knows that if in doubt they can come to you and ask for 'help'. That may be that they become worried, so look to you, or move closer. It is ALWAYS ok to reassure your dog if they are feeling anxious. Yes, even if their anxiety presents as some form of reactive behaviour. You are their guardian, and protector. Regardless of if your anxious dog is a Lhasa Apso or a Doberman, comfort your dog when they need it.
This leads me on to the importance of advocating for your dog. This means exploring ways in which you feel comfortable communicating with other people, be it family memebers, dog owners, or professionals to tell them what your dog NEEDS. This may be asking dog owners to give you space if they have an off lead dog approaching, or speaking with your vet about low stress care options. Finding ways to help your dog have minimally stressful experiences really will add up to helping change their outlook on life, and build back some of the confidence they need.
Most importantly, remember, don't compare your dog and your journey to others! Every individual has different needs, and experiences. And that's okay!
If you're feeling stuck, or would like some help with your nervous dog you can find out more about my services here, or call me on 07505000709.
Comments